Tidal Wave

Poem in the dark #4 and some unrelated photos

This following poem is what I call my Rage Poem. It's quite different from my previous ones in subject matter. I don't like having fits of rage, I don't like my anger, it often comes from a complete lack of trust in God and not getting what I want or think I need. But this kind of personal writing is all about connecting with others and expressing the different parts of this human life. So maybe you can relate? Also, I'm just so pleased (ha!) with how this turned out. Who knew my middle-of-the-night anger could actually turn into art?

Tidal Wave

Sometimes
I get so angry
       rage filling me up
       chest heavy, throat burning
I frighten myself

Usually
it's in the middle of the night
when my sleep is disturbed
       by anything other than the baby
when sleep is what I crave most

I am laying still
but inside I am screaming
        swearing
        (I will keep this tame though)
at God,
WHY, on the one night in weeks that the baby hasn't woken up yet for a feed, are the girls awake? I could've gotten such a decent stretch of sleep! You know how exhausted I am. Could I not have this one thing?
I hold back the tidal wave

Sometimes
even in my fitful dreams
I am yelling
       unhinged
at the people I love 

Usually 
I try to sleep
        pushing away the emotion
and eventually I do

Tonight though
I write
       turning it all into
Poetry 

Now for some photos I just feel like sharing, the other art I love to make but that is definitely less angsty: